If we ever meet again

Its 11:42 pm, almost midnight. Nothing so special. Well, today's the 22nd, birthday of a close friend, Harley. :) I greeted him through FB and Twitter only, since he's in Canada already. Well, he's been there a long time, about 3 years already. Anyway. I went to visit Klaud again in the hospital this afternoon. They took off his oxygen support already, since he's able enough to breathe on his own. Good progress! :') They said they would be taking off the dextrose, too. Another thing to be happy about :D And in about 9 days, I will be able to take him home with me already :> The specialist said he could be discharged as early as tomorrow, but they'd rather keep him in, until he finishes all his medications there, which again would take about 9 days. Well, I got to carry him and feed him today, but not so much. Lol. He was just fed when I came. Bummmmer. Anyway, tomorrow, we're planning to come in early, like around 10am, maybe he gets to feed straight from me. :) Since the oxygen support's gone, there isnt anything on his face anymore. I saw it clearer. He was sleeping when I came, so he wasnt waddling around so much, and I saw him clearly, he does look a lot like Mico. A LOT. Lol. He was yawning every now and then, must be really tired. Idk how he gets tired but he seems to be. Haha! His hair was so thick, and he had hair all over his face, and his shoulders and all. He was trying to open his eyes, but I guess he still cant, so he looked really weird. Hahaha. He got small chinky eyes, again Idk where he got that. But his chin was exactly like mine, he has puffy cheeks, a tiny nose, and a very small mouth, too. He had thin eyebrows. Also, he has very little but very long fingers, and toes. Lol. He's a long baby, and my mom said he'd grow up to be a big man. I hope so! :)

After we went to the hospital, my uncles wanted to watch Shrek. Idk what number that was already, 3 or 4. Well anyway, I went to the mall with them today, but I didnt go watch Shrek. I only ate dinner with them, and payed off mommy's credit card bill, then I went home due to weird wooziness, and unbelievable pain from my stitches. I guess I still need to rest and recover more here at home, before I can really get out and be sociable again. Maybe 2 or 3 weeks more. Lol. But in about 2 weeks, baby Klaud will be home, and I will have no time to get out alot no more. On my own. But I guess when my dad calls and comes, we need to come with 'em.

Im scratching my eyes, I forgot I had mascara on. -

Anyway, I gotta hit the sack. I will be visiting Klaud early in the morning tomorrow. I need strength and I need to sleep now. ~

OH MY ASKAJLKJDLANDLKA! =))

Dont mind the title. I just cant think of anything =)

Okay, so it's 12:00 PM exactly. Lunch time here. But food's not ready yet, so I'mma be blogging. LOL. We're having spare ribs for lunch.... YUMMMMMMMMM. Hahahaha. I got nothing planned today, actually. Well, except for the visit to Klaud later this afternoon, nothing more.

I hope he's hungry when I get there. Because I wanna hold him again :) And I cant do that if he was already fed. Lol. Anyway. I want to hear great news later. Like, when we can bring him home. Im so psyched to have him here. Anyway, Im outta words. ._______. I think I may have lots of stuff again to write when I get back. Ciao. ~

Haha. Hihi. Hoho.

9PM

So, I went to the hospital today. And I got to see and hold Klaud already :") He was soooo tiny. His arms and legs were so fragile :| And his head was, too. He was opening his eyes already!! But I got to hold him so close, and I made him stop crying and all. But they had to do blood transfusion, so I had to put him back on the bed-like thingy he was in. He wasnt in the incubator anymore, but there was the big light still on top of him. So, I was there, and I was playing with his tiny hands, and he was crying because of the oxygen tube thing on his nose kept falling off. Lol. I felt so bad though. I didnt want to leave him crying..... :'( He was crying when I left. Sucks to be me. I was so hurt. :'(

Anyway, I left him milk for today. Lol. And I want to come visit him again tomorrow :| I really reeeeeeally want to. If only I could go there and see him everyday, I would. But, I guess I cant, since I cant commute yet, and Tito Jay isnt always available for transportation.

Im dead tired. :| And my stitches are weirdly hurting tonight. So... I will be resting now. :) But I still am the happiest mom. Lol. ~

Early bird

Uhhh. Okay, so I'm up at 5:35 am. Lol. Actually I was up about an hour ago. But I had things done so... Yeah. :P Haha!

I woke up, woke mommy up, (She was late for work.) and asked her to clean out my stitches for me, since I'm not able to see where they are, and if I did the cleaning myself, that would be a very very very large risk. Lol. Anyway. I dont feel weariness anymore. So, I think I will be up for the morning, but I'm guessing only about until 7 or 8am.

Very early at 5am, though. Maybe my body clock is already preparing for when Klaud gets home. (Yippeee! :D) Or, maybe I'm just really really excited about visiting him this afternoon, that it woke me up so early. Weird, though. I will be visiting him at 4pm later this afternoon, not early in the morning.... So, what's the point of having to wake up this early? Lol. Anyway, I think I wont be walking around so much today, I'm saving all my strength and my painkillers for when I visit Klaud. Lol. I know Imma need them painkillers when I get there. Mom said the hospital had no elevators, and Klaud's on the third floor. Gaaaah. XD Anyhooooze, that wont stop me from getting to my little man :')

Anyway. Too much excitement already. Let's talk about some other stuff. Haha! :3

So... I said I will do my 365 when I have him. I havent started it, though :| Since I havent brought him home yet, my plans are postponed 'til then. :D I am planning on starting soon, when I confirm daily trips to the hospital. :> But if I dont, I'll wait until he's well enough to come home with me. I haven't gotten my phone from my dad yet, though. And I have no camera available at the moment, so I guess my 365 wont be starting yet. Lol.

I'm wondering what my life would be when he's here..................... I'm not thinking about the pain, trouble, and whatnot, I'm thinking of how happy I will be. :D

Oh, well. Just needed to let things out. :> Be back later, before or after I go visit him. :') ~

Better in time.

* Baby Boy, we will see each other tomorrow, okay? I love you to death. <3

Yes, we will be better in time. WE WILL :')

So I will be sleeping with a very big smile on my face tonight.... Because of all the improvements Baby Klaud is doing :D And tomorrow, I will visit him in the hospital he's currently confined in. And since he's able to feed already, I will be breastfeeding for the very first time tomorrow. I dont really know how to, but people keep on telling me that I dont need to learn, because I already know. Mother's instincts. :) Well, anyway.... I'm a bit nervous, because I dont know if the pain would be severe, since I cant be standing all the time, I need to sit down from moment to moment. :| Ughhhh. That's my only fear for now. But, still. Nothing will beat my happiness. Nothing will change my mood tonight, because I am happier than ever for my baby boy :D

Okay, so I already pumped about 5oz of breastmilk, which will be left for Klaud in the hospital, so he'll be able to feed on my milk while he's there. :D At the moment, doctors say he feeds on other mom's breastmilk..... So, yeah. Awkward *_* Lol. It will be healthier for him if the milk comes from me. Because I am his mother.

Anyhoooo. I'mma be logging off in a while, nothing much more to say, words cant express my emotions at the moment. First, because Klaud made veeeeery large progress already. Second, he is so Bibbo daw. :D He's so malikot and all. I want to see him. And third, I will visit him there tomorrow!! \:D/ I am at my happiest today, I think.

JASGLHKHNLIASCALKJSDHJKL!!!!!!!!!

I just had to get that out. :P Lol. I have so much to put, but I need to log off and rest. I feel weak from all the pumping I did this day. Night! ~

Happy, happy.

2:15 PM

I just got news from Mico's mom. :) My baby boy's off the ventilator/respirator. He is now feeding! :) I want to hold him so bad. I want to see him. Now that I can walk, and be on my own. Im pretty sure I will be with him in no time. :) His mom also said, that Klaud may be out of the incubator by tomorrow... Hopefully. :D Im so happy. Just so so soooo happy.

This morning, I expressed milk for the baby. Mico brought it there, for him to feed on. Mico's mom said the baby was so matakaw already. :> When he gets home, everything will be ready. His toys, his clothes, his bottles, his everything and me!! :D I just cant help the excitement. I am so full of joy right now, I would jump if I could. :D Hahahaha.

I was gone.

I was gone for half a week. I was admitted at Fairview General Hospital. From May 14th to May 18th, because I had my little man! :")

Here he is, Theodore Klaud Lopez Jacobe. Born May 14th, 2010 :)

He was lacking 2 weeks to term. So, I haven't seen or held him yet. :( He's still at the Neonatal ICU, and we're all hoping to see him very soon. I want to see him so bad, I cry almost every night since he was born. But now I have to focus on recovering, getting better, and praying harder. Since, these are the only things I can do, due to having delivered him c-section. I am having troubles regaining balance, and tolerating the piercing pain that the stitches bring. But I will soon be better, for my baby boy.

He is there due to lung prematurity. He cant breathe on his own yet :( But he's making progress. And with all the prayers, positivity and medicines he's taking, I hope he gets better reeeeeal soon. I havent seen him yet, but I miss him. :'( I want to hold him. I want to feel that first-time-mom feeling. :'{ (Okay, I am now bursting to tears again........... T_T)

Anyway, he looks a lot like his dad. :) He got his father's nose and lips. And he's soooo handsome. Well, that's what I see from the photos that my mom had taken before he was brought to the ICU. He kept on crying, until Mico was with him. :') This scene made me smile, when he told it to me. He was pumping air into the tubes on the baby's respirator. He was talking to him, and he said, "Pagaling ka na agad, ha? Gustong gusto ka na makita ng mommy mo, eh." After he said that line, the baby grabbed his finger. The baby had his eyes shut, so he must've grabbed it by instinct. And when Mico was asking for replacement on pumping the air, the baby again grabbed his finger, and maybe didnt want to let him go. Well.... At least he recognized his father's voice. :')

I just found out that he has Respiratory Distress Syndrome. :'( I am now googling on how he will be okay, what we can do to make him better..

Okay. I didnt like anything I have read. :| All I would want to do now is pray. For his betterment, for his health, and for mine. God, please help me. :'( I am ready to do anything to make him better. ANYTHING :_( ~